Home > 2009, fiction, my bheja > Today Thursday at 17 hours-

Today Thursday at 17 hours-

***
At this very moment there are loads of happenings occurring around the world. When I feel that at this very moment One kid was born in Western Australia, A mother is feeling the pain of giving birth this young kid but at the same moment some where in Western India one adult is trying to rape a young Indian girl which is just fourteen years old. During this time- Somewhere in New York, There is one business man who is sitting in his chair, thinking if he wants to open his company tomorrow in the stock market or not.

Today at this very moment there is one guy in his mid thirties, strongly build near the mountains of Afghanistan thinking and preparing for the battle for suicide bombings.

At the same moment a mother in Gaza is preparing a food for her three kids and thinking that if tomorrow will be the day if she can sleep with peace.

***
Now When I look and imagine such events at this moment, I think on my own life and my own problems. All of my major problems are not so much problematic. Why am I worried? Why do I think that I will have to come up with answers as soon as possible? There are lots of questions which are making my life miserable. There are only questions and no answers. I am searching for the right answer which will tell me that I am best at doing “something” which is good enough to satisfy people around me. I have a degree but those degree does not give me right job at this very moment.

I am tired, Some times I just want to keep on doing the things I like most but some times my life tells me that- just check out. When I imagine the situation those people that I described above are facing at the moment my problems are very small or is even considered as no problem at all.

What should I do now? Should I wait for the right day? or, should I just quit? I am really really bored and tired with this situation of living a life. Some times I read what my friends and great writer like Paulo has written and I get inspired but other times I feel really frustrated.

My father said once to me, “Son, There is no big problems or small problems-these are only just problems”. I asked him, “How can I get rid of these problems?”. Problems come and go but the way of choosing or even implementing the solution solely depends on you, he said.

I am terrified and at the same time worried when I put myself in the situation where no body I think would like to be.

Imagine you are in love with a girl who is near you, in the country you are living. Now again, Imagine there is another girl who is waiting for you in your home country. Both of these beautiful ladies like you more than you like them. They care about you. You are in the middle of nowhere and you cannot decide whom to choose. You do not actually want to choose any one of them but just want to remain with both of them.

One day, you have to leave the girl in the country that you are living and you have to go back home. How would you feel ? Will you leave her and feel sad ?

You know relationship problems start when there is distance between you and your beloved partner. How would she stand up this situation? You feel the pain and you do not want to listen anyone. you just want to hide in the corner of your room and be silent.

Will she commit suicide? What if, she decides to kill herself? Will you every forgive yourself for leaving her? What happens if you cannot tolerate this throughout your life?

These are only question and no answer smoothen the heart which is feeling the pain. There are sorrows and grief, there are agony and pain. These are bloody tears which some time just fall even your mind does not want to cry.

No body is to blame for all these, you created the problem for yourself and if your friends, family give you advice then they are looking on the perspective of what you have described. They are not feeling the same. They cannot go through your pain and sorrow. They will try to understand your situation but they will never feel the way you are feeling at this very moments and at this very time.

You call God and recall him, and close your eyes living in a lonely room of yours. You join your hand and start praying. Asking him for a help. You are saying that please give me some alternatives, will you? Please.

While you are begging for your own problems you also are thinking that God has many children who are asking for the same at this very moment.

All those people who are in trouble or in problems are begging him for help. you are no different then them. Do you think the Supreme being has the same feeling as yours? Even if he knows your problem how is your problem different then others?

Oh, God. I have taken this step to find the solutions of my problems, through my problems I want to help those who are in the same problems . Will you please bless me with the power to serve? I know your giving. I am blessed with your Nature and I will always try to spread the happiness all around.

But Now, I am alone and lonely, I need your support. I know that Finding treasure will not give my life satisfaction neither do I want to find a treasure and collect it in a Private Bank.

I want the answers to all those questions. How would I convince my love that I care more than my life for her? How would I answer my heart that whatever that is happening around at this moment is not in the hands of me? How could I ?
***

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Categories: 2009, fiction, my bheja
  1. January 8, 2009 at 11:43 pm

    You are a born writer. Keep it up!! This is the best one among ur articles that i have read!!!!-Bishal Raj Karki

  2. January 9, 2009 at 7:58 am

    Thank you keto-Hope to see you soon. :)SK

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